"A cold chill spread through her as she realized that her discovery - the exposure of her feelings - would destroy him. She should have been more careful. It always began like this."
This is a story of a boy who never got to tell his side of the story. I've always believed a story has not been fully understood until both sides have been heard. In this story, the boy never had the chance to tell his side - he would never intend to. In this story, the girl who knew him far more than anyone has finally voiced him out.
She was a people person, she wasn't exactly the vocal type, but when she did want to express what she had been suppressing it all comes out like hot lava from an awaken volcano. He on the other hand was the type who kept things to himself. He'd carry the burden deep down with him, he felt he needed to be strong for her. They never really had any real fights. Everything seemed at bliss for the both of them.
Even before they got together, the two of them already had a strong connection. The one that goes deep down in the gut and would withstand all time and trials.
An unexpected pregnancy tested them. He was the one who stood firm that he would not want to end his child's life. He was there for her. Guided her through the early days of this shaky surprise.
He kept her assured and confident that things would turn out all right. That he was going to be there every step of the way. That he loved her, and that he loved his child - their child. And this secured her. HE SECURED HER; thus also securing the innocent life inside of her.
The two of them struggled to be both good parents to their little one, good children to their parents, and good to each other. She had her family, her friends and him that she could run to when things got rough. That wasn't the case for him. He had no one to run to. He only had her. And she wasn't always as supportive nor approachable. He was being bashed from all sides. His family, her family, and a few times also from her herself. He had to take all the emotional torture and endure it.
He needed to endure all the emotional torture because he wouldn't want her to carry that burden. He didn't want to leave her either. He was a silent martyr. He risked breaking rather than see her break.
She left because she saw him breaking due to her. She never really wanted to for him to leave. But when he did, she didn't know what to do. It stung her because she'd always thought he'd stay. That was the time he was truly misunderstood.
It was she who always wronged him first, and he kept quiet. He'd always been selfless. Giving all that he can for her. She didn't understand at first when he started caring for himself. She thought he was being selfish. But now she understood he was merely surviving. Being with her, having her in his life had always killed him in one way or the other.
He'd always get beaten up emotionally and he'd always endure it. For her. For their relationship. People always thought she was the strong one - herself included.
They always thought she was the one who sacrificed more, but now she knows better. She only had to sacrifice concrete things, and her family was with her every step of the way helping her.
He had to sacrifice his whole being, he was emotionally and psychologically dead. He died a thousand deaths for her. How can one still continue living when you're already dead inside? No one saw this. And he never asked to be rescued. Now she wants the world to understand, he had it worse.
To you, Love. I'm sorry. Let me breathe some life into the soul you lost because of me. Even if it takes every day of my life to do so, I would. You rescued me over and over, now it's my turn to rescue you. I love you unconditionally Always had, always will.
